as i watched the snow fall like confetti and pile an inch or so atop the dried flowers outside, all from the warmth of my room, it felt surprisingly good to be living. it was so beautiful. it felt pure and untouched and just drove me a little further from the daily doses of reality. but this was just a facade of course. once you stepped out, it became a different story.

i was walking back home and the footprints i had seen earlier in the morning were now perfectly invisible under the fresh coat of snow. the night was still and the white everywhere made it seem more like dawn than night. again it was beautiful. no noisy cars on the street, no kids running around, that sense of serenity… wow i’d like that once in a while.  but even as i walked awestruck by the calmness and beauty of the scene, i wasn’t completely able to enjoy it. the sudden blows of winter chills and my tightening face took away from the joyous moment. also trying hard not to slip and dislocate my hip (maybe not so extreme) was another thing keeping me from taking in an evening that hardly came by.

ever since my escalator accident, i’ve been ridiculously cautious with my steps.   at times when i have absolutely nothing to do, my eroding mind directs me to gruesome thoughts of falls gone bad. very bad. the things that come to my mind are so nasty, i feel its unhealthy to even  be descriptive about them.

and now coming back to what i was originally taking about, snow, its still coming down and piling away. my arms haven’t fully recovered from last night’s intense shoveling and now there’s another one in the waiting. that ought to be the last snow of the season.